9 Reasons Why I’m Cooler
Than John Chow
By Bryan Clark on Aug 16, 2007 in Uncategorized
First and foremost, I’d like to preface this list by saying that I am in no way implying that my blog (onemansgoal.com) is better than John Chow’s. I read John’s blog daily and I am thankful for the wealth of knowledge that he provides. I just wanted to take the opportunity to poke some fun at our favorite internet genius. That said, let’s begin!
1. John Chow is evil. He admits this openly. I, on the other hand, am pure goodness. John is the kind of guy that you wouldn’t let your daughter date. Odds are, I’ve already dated your daughter.
2. John has been put in Google’s time-out chair. He doesn’t appear on the first page for “make money online” anymore. Heck, he doesn’t even appear on the first page for his own name. I probably rank higher in the search engines for “John Chow” than he does.
3. I don’t have to send love letters via Google Adwords to Darren Rowse to get a link on ProBlogger.
4. The last Asian guy in North America to gain an incredible amount of popularity was William Hung. Good luck trying to match his success John. Although you do look better in a turtleneck.
5. Everyone knows that to be a successful blogger you have to have a shaved head. John, you should join the movement. I bet you’ll double or even triple your income within a matter of days.
6. John’s from Canada… ’nuff said.
7. Although it is true that John Chow did beat Chuck Norris senseless one afternoon. I’m the only one who knows that they were fighting over the last twinkie.
8. John Chow is a genius. Therefore, Bill Gates will team up with Google to have him assassinated. Probably by this guy…
9. Alright, the truth is… John Chow is much cooler than me. I just thought I’d take the opportunity to poke a little fun at him. However, I am still way cooler than a lot of other Chow’s including - dog chow, Stephen Chow, John Cow (I think he counts), Chow mein, and let’s not forget Chow-der (okay that last one is a stretch).
John Chow dot Com is an awesome place to learn how to make money online. Problogger and John Chow are two blogs that I simply have to read every day. I suggest you do the same!
Popularity: 7% [?]
59 Comment(s)
By Prince Gomolvilas on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
I have to admit that this post is pretty damn funny. You have proven that you are cooler than John Chow….
But, unfortunately, he has the Asian Gene, which means he will always look younger than you. That’s the trade-off, I guess.
By Bryan on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
True… Sad… But True…
By icedragon on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
ja! ja!, really make me laugh, and point five really makes a point, but, what happens with all natural bald people ?, maybe John has a wig or painted hair, after all, he is the root of all evil, he can’t look bad . . .
By Bryan on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
Very true
By mahdi yusuf on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
thats cold blooded, i am from Canada too Bryan!
By Bryan on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
I like Canada… one of my best friends lives there. Was just an easy shot
By Thomas on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
Lol, you need to get some glasses too!
By Sutocu on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
Cool. Hope you’ll get as far as him.
By Bryan on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
Correction… I want to be MORE successful than John Chow and Darren Rowse. I’ve got a LOT of work ahead of me!
By CallCenterVet on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
Cool post… I agree with Thomas’ comment. You oughta get some specs… and just to make sure you do better than every one of them…Get them biggest glasses you can find… haha
seriously, I enjoyed reading this… Thanks.
By Joy Smith on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
“However, I am still way cooler than a lot of other Chow’s including - dog chow, Stephen Chow, John Cow (I think he counts), Chow mein, and let’s not forget Chow-der (okay that last one is a stretch).”
By Joy Smith on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
Okay, since there seems to be a limit to what can be said. The above is quoted obviously. And then I went on to say… You forgot Chow Chow! hehe
By Contamination on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
So that’s the secret of Blog success!
Shave your head!!
Idea!
1. Post that you will shave your head for charity.
2. Link to your favourite charity, get them to link to you.
3. Ask for donations that will be given to said charity.
4. Post a video of you having your head shaved for charity.
5. Create a competition where you will donate $5 in the name of the winner to the charity and post them the hair if they Link to your blog, Stumble, Digg or something your blog.
6. Sit back and feel like you have followed up on your words, done some good and created some buzz for your site.
Of course if you were to thank me in some of the posts with links to my site, that’d be appreciated.
My Idol is Richard.
http://www.lfgcomic.com/page/70
He makes John Chow look like a Choir Boy.
By Contamination on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
You can’t avoid it Bryan, its now out there.
http://misdoclub.blogspot.com/2007/08/one-man-should-shave-his-head.html
I’d suggest either the WWF (http://www.panda.org)
Or the Contamination Beer fund.
Shave your head.
Shave your head.
Shave your HEAD!
By Bryan on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
Ummm… my head is shaved. It’s in the picture! Look again
By Contamination on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
Doh!
By Social Network on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
John Chow blog no longer gets the top ranking for “making money onlineâ€Â, not even in the first few pages of SERP for searching his name or blog’s domain name. John Chow has been penalized by Google. You are cooler. i get a lot of inspirations from you
you can add your article here ( http://www.italiensk.info/News ) and get faved, digg and deliciuos. + a link to it + technorati authority
very easy read the help and just bookmark the Bookmarklet in your favorite browser. After that, the only thing you have to do to start submitting a story is to click the bookmarklet in your browser.
By Contamination on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
Okay Bryan, Let you hair grow and then SHAVE IT AGAIN for charity!
But you have to admit, if it wasn’t shaved - it was a good idea.
By Bryan on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
Contamination - It was a great idea. I totally would have done it, had I not shaved my head like a week ago!
By Contamination on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
Okay, lets wait 4 weeks and talk about it then!
By Angela on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
Please don’t tell me I have to shave my head to get good at this blogging thing.
“Pure goodness” - ha ha
By John Chow on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
You maybe cooler than John Chow but I bet I pay less tax than you.
By Contamination on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
OOH! The Big Man visits!
Cool!
By Ajay M on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
Hey dude, you have justified your statements with enough evidence. I like the way u blog man.
By Webd360 on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
I shaved my head earlier this summer, maybe thats why my blog is doing better now than it was 2 months ago
By someGirl on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
That was great!! You’re pure funny goodness.
By Davy on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
Note to self: Shave head to gain authority.
Funny post, Bryan!
By Michael on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
I shaved my head yesterday and I’m already seeing a spike in traffic!
By Jason on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
You’re 50x cooler than John Chow, Bryan, and so is John Cow [johncow.com].
I have a shaved head too. I am therefore among the best.
By Sly from Slyvisions.com on Aug 16, 2007 | Reply
Haha. A very well-made post. It was fun to read and I agree with everything you said. Nice job!
Sly from Slyvisions.com
By Contamination on Aug 17, 2007 | Reply
Does the shaving effect work ONLY if you shave your head?
What if you shave other parts of your body? Does this make traffic improve even more?
I submit this challenge to OMG’s readers.
By Stephen on Aug 17, 2007 | Reply
Whatcha talkin aboot Bryan, eh? lol….I found the post pretty funny by trying to poke fun at the self-proclaimed “evil one”…maybe you should make this a regular thing by saying why you are better than other renowned bloggers! =) Perhaps you’ll receive enough attention from them to post comments here! It’s just a thought..
By Jason on Aug 17, 2007 | Reply
“What if you shave other parts of your body? Does this make traffic improve even more?”
As I understand it, that is of no use whatsoever.
By Dirk Handy on Aug 17, 2007 | Reply
cool article
By Contamination on Aug 17, 2007 | Reply
Hmm…
Are you
1) stating you have shaved other parts of your body and found it to be ineffective?
2) being a kill joy?
Please confirm either way.
By Bryan on Aug 17, 2007 | Reply
Do I have to separate you two?
By Contamination on Aug 18, 2007 | Reply
I thought it was a legitimate question.
(>_
By Jason on Aug 18, 2007 | Reply
I think if you’re a guy and you shave your legs, then you will earn less than you are now.
However, if you shave your face with a pocket knife you’re an instant millionaire.
By Missy on Aug 18, 2007 | Reply
hehe. good stuff, bryan. i didn’t know you were funny. lol. i wonder if i’m funny, too? hmmmmn. john chow is pure evilness and a freakin genuis, although i really digg http://www.johncow.com too. he is mootastic.
missy is now wondering if she is funny?
By Andrew Boyd on Aug 19, 2007 | Reply
Hi Brian,
thanks for a really cool article
Have you thought about running a “Bald Blogger Photo Links” competition to bring all the other shaved bloggers out in the open?
Cheers, Andrew
By mossiwo on Aug 19, 2007 | Reply
One thing I can say clear, “you are more fun” hahaha… awesome Bryan
By Marie on Aug 19, 2007 | Reply
lol This was good. Thanks.
By LindaF on Aug 23, 2007 | Reply
Cute!
By lalit nagrath on Aug 28, 2007 | Reply
huh
that was good , keep posting such stuffs .
give some funny moments for blogers
By Alex on Sep 18, 2007 | Reply
LOL
Thats good stuff!
By Tarife on Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
Hehe, that was a nice read
By Fernstudium on Oct 16, 2007 | Reply
lol
By stars on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
hahahha that was great.. the best part was about being bold, because i’m bold too
By Michael Woo on Nov 15, 2007 | Reply
Ah yes, I 100% support you when you say that he is evil
By Sneezy Melon on Dec 1, 2007 | Reply
heh! Well said Mr. Pure Goodness
By Prepaid Vergleich on Dec 6, 2007 | Reply
Haha :-))
By nishu on Feb 7, 2008 | Reply
dude ! Trust me you are cool enough… You inspired me to get my head shaved.
PS: I will be cooler than you this weekend
By Tagesgeld on Feb 8, 2008 | Reply
*lol* this one inspires me
By Tim Solon on Feb 8, 2008 | Reply
William Hung Rocks! LOL… I can’t believe you compared John Chow to William Hung. This post is quite funny.
By Server mieten on Feb 20, 2008 | Reply
I am really wondering how many of the guys who posted a comment did actually read the post…
Keep it up mate!
By webby on Mar 5, 2008 | Reply
yeahh, really good stuff
By Myby on Apr 25, 2008 | Reply
John Chow never has been cool, has he??
By UMTS-Karten on May 29, 2008 | Reply
I agree, John Chow just sucks
By Gutschein on May 29, 2008 | Reply
Why is everyone bashing John?